Today while talking to my sister on the phone, she asked me to start a new blog to share with family and friends so that they can keep up with what we are are doing here in California.
Since there are still so many unknowns for our family right now, I didn’t think I had the organized brain capacity to share what we are doing…because, to be quite honest, we don’t even know yet.
In spite of so many unknowns, which feel overwhelming and suffocating at times, there are a few concrete knowns.
I came up with 10 knowns in a sea of unknowns.
- Me and the kids met with our new church plant yesterday for our first gathering. It was at a park. The fellowship was sweet. Beyond sweet. Ever since we left Virginia, in what seems like a gazillion years ago, we have been looking for a church community that we could call “home”. Yes, I know the Biblical mandate that this world is not our home so we should not be looking for perfection here in our earthly lives. But with that said, there is something about having church community that just feels……like home. Not once did I feel uncomfortable, out of place, or like the only minority in sea of majority. It was completely multi-ethnic. It was a beautiful sight. I could have cried of happiness during the entire gathering, but that would not have made for very effective conversation.
- I miss my husband. He is in NM instructing new and seasoned recruits how to drive “law enforcement” style. He’s only been gone for 3 days….but…..due to all of our collective unknowns, I miss him that much more. I came across a tape measure in our stuff and started crying. I knew he was my rock and my anchor and my sane voice and my calm and my chill out…..but I never really truly know how much I rely on him to help me when my thoughts go astray. 5 weeks and 6 days left to go until he returns. I can do this!
- Fear…. is….a……major dislike for me right now. If I am not careful and neglect to reflect on God’s word and promises, I can easily become so fearful that it paralyzes me.
- I think we found the perfect piece of property to buy. However…it’s in Compton. Yeah…you read that right…..THE Compton. It is 2 miles from the zip code we were trying to stay close to in North Long Beach. 1.4 miles from my childhood neighborhood where I had…..have…..had…..have…..way too many memories of inner city childhood trauma. That revelation might need to have a blog update all on it’s own…but I’m not emotionally ready to process and reflect on that yet. Other than the logistics of the property, what it has to offer is perfect. Two buildings on .33 acres with a price that is not insurmountable. It’s a street front property. It’s across the street from a big park. There is a library on the other side of the park. Logistically, it really is ideal for what we want to do with it. We can live in one building and do ministry/outreach in the other. The kids and I will go look at it later this week so I am asking for specific prayer about that, especially concerning this property and point #3.
- We will close on our house in WA on time, which will be the end of July. Yay! We will soon be officially homeless. Not yay! The reality that we have actually moved without a concrete ideal American plan, literally living out the scriptural mandate to TRUST AND OBEY is a teeny tiny bit nerve wracking…but I am learning…albeit slowly that there really is no other way (yes…that sweet hymn that seems to stays at the forefront my mind and heart lately). Thankful for my brother and his wife for agreeing to let us stay with them in San Diego during this transition period. As much as I would like to be in L.A right now, I don’t think my senses are ready for it yet, and especially not without my husband. San Diego is our transition from isolated country life into city life. I definitely need the transition to allow my senses to assimilate from trees to concrete, grass to pavement, shoes with chicken poop stuck to the bottom….to….well ….not.
- Homeschooling my children and doing my own school work is my saving grace. It’s the stable continuity of my day. Opening up lesson plans, reading to my son, nagging him about his writing is my peace….my comfort. It’s a very familiar known and I pleaded with my children today to help me help us get back into a rhythm of getting a loose but structured schedule of schooling, regardless of the fact that we are right smack in the middle of summer, in the city….with all kinds of distractions that could pull us in a hundred different directions. Homeschooling my kids, is my OOOMMMMM!
- I must stay off the L.A Homicide report website.
- I must listen to the song BEAUTIFUL FEET a gazillion times a day. You know…to remind me why and what we are doing.
- I think I already said this….but it must be said again. I am thankful for my husband. He is unwavering in all of this. God surely knew what he was doing when he gave him to me.
- It is like God had this planned all along. The sovereign hand of God is the most comforting doctrine to me and every time I think about it too much, I break out into tears. Tears of gratefulness. Tears of the big-ness of what is happening. Tears of thankfulness that God saw fit to bring 2 newly redeemed people together 12 years ago, with all of our baggage of brokenness and lead both of us to a greater understanding of HIM simply to send us out with our own calling of ministry into a place where logic tells us to stay far far away.
Other than that….everything else are unknowns to us.
Please pray pray pray for us!
Over and out!
A sub-blog of mindandhearttheology.org